1. |
||||
here i stand
cleansed of anxiety
open my arms to a sky full of stars
the grip of your gaze has weakened and crumbled
and now i can see you
the self loathing chaser you are
voices carry from down the stairs
calling out the name that you gave me
i am awakened from a dream
where you called me the name i have given myself
globalized discomfort and inflammation
can’t fit the bill of your expectation
|
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2. |
FIFTH GRADE ORCHIECTOMY
02:39
|
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for i can be to you now
as i have always been
the chemical imbalance
has been corrected
you can loosen your grip
from around your keys
you can loosen your grip for me
and when i walk behind you
on the street at night
there is no need to look over your shoulder
i am here
i am here
i am here
gentle and harmless
my stature and my shadow both are rounded and becoming
for i can be to you now
as i have always been
|
||||
3. |
ACID
02:10
|
|||
never took a breath
didn’t keep my lungs for long
ribs exposed and bare
under this mask i’m innocent i swear
ignore me one more time i dare
you wouldn’t understand
leave me on the side of the road, force me to blend into your grays and blacks. dead is how you need me to “keep the peace”
with the sun like acid, soon even my ribs will be gone, nothing will be left, you’ll scrape me off
hit me with your fucking car, it’s just what i need
|
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4. |
BIOLOGICAL CAR CRASH
01:54
|
|||
strap me in sandbags
weigh me down
even out the odds
ski mask and a baggy sweatshirt
radio between my ears
even out the odds
why don’t you recognize me?
why can’t you recognize me?
too pretty
too gay
too fucking fabulous
had to tie me down
blanching out my color
end the odds
destroy the moon
let the musicians play and scream
bleed the sand from my neck
|
||||
5. |
THE RIFT
02:13
|
|||
you awoke unrecognizable
i couldn’t recognize you
your edges filed to points
your back turned
you sprung up from the ground
a burning bush
earth left barren
morning light
leaking slow
no rain here
nothing grows
morning light
i drive home
your shadow
your shadow
all possible routes exhausted
our home uninhabitable
paint stripped from its walls
flooded out from the inside
|
||||
6. |
WELCOME TO MY CASTLE
01:25
|
|||
may the soot on my doorstep
never see itself clean
may habits carried over
never work to humble or concede
white noise to slow my brain down
lull this colic baby to sleep
surrounded when i wake up
sunlight leaking from all angles
we could be deathless forever
siblings surviving together
bodies formless and untethered
we could be deathless forever
|
||||
7. |
GIRDERS
03:25
|
|||
Lay me on an anvil; O God
Beat and hammer me into a crowbar
Let me pry loose old walls
lift and loosen old foundations
smash in windows crack open skulls
tear out sinks rip up flooring
make use of my simple shape
make use of my great weight
Lay me on an anvil, O God
beat me and hammer into a iron mace
let my spikes impale tires and flesh
topple walls and tire arms
use brute force to turn shields into splitters
armor into scrap metal and veins into pools
demand of me what you will
use me the best you can
Lay me on an anvil, O God
Beat me and hammer me into a steel spike
Drive me into the girders
mass produce me, use me, waste me
erect more and more, flea higher and higher
i am here to support and i am here to ascend
let the workers who hold me know what i am
let the architects know my power
lay me on an anvil, O god
beat Me and hammer Me in a mighty steel spike
Drive me into the girders
that hold a skyscraper together
Take red-hot rivets
fasten me into the central girders
I am the great nail holding a skyscraper through
blue nights into white stars
let me be the great nail holding a skyscraper together
|
||||
8. |
RAFTERS
01:55
|
|||
caught from the wrong angle again
image of the self in a compacted form
days spent feeling lighter
fallen out of their rotation
caught from the wrong angle
find myself no longer graceful
stare straight ahead
(pearly linoleum)
stare straight ahead
(pearly linoleum)
nobody to celebrate and nothing to claim
stare straight ahead
|
||||
9. |
SHE TELLS ME YES YES YES
03:03
|
|||
say you’ll meet me there
even though i’ve been away
i still feel you
sometimes like a chill
some like a hand on the small of my back
still all i can offer
my ambivalent devotion
if you watch over this body
will you watch over my body
stark defiance in the face of god
trembling bodies in the face of god
dancing freely in the face of god
venerated in the face of god
hedonistic in the face of god
deprivation in the face of god
fallow, fertile in the face of god
chemically sterile in the face of god
screaming colors in the face of god
drained of spirit in the face of god
failing body in the face of god
undistracted in the face of god
brash irreverence in the face of god
beg forgiveness in the face of god
feel no comfort in the face of god
taking solace in the face of god
|
||||
10. |
||||
all your development is a stain on this earth
as the plastic architecture
rises stale from its foundation
as if in defiance of autonomy
a rich, once fertile soil gives its way to your disruption
all your rooftops are a blemish on our skyline
your village could never raise a child
twelve foot tall bay windows
with a view that looks a mirror
your facade begs for a flame
we exist in opposition
to your homogenization
in our shades of screaming color
showing fearlessly our faces
meeting stoically your gaze
as we reach out to each other
you will never break the chain
all your settlements will suffer
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SPACE CAMP South Windsor, Connecticut
“what is this, besides way too much” - anonymous sound guy
spacecampcthc@gmail.com
photo by Gabrielle Choiniere
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